The World Which is Made of Our Love for Emptiness

Today's class was hard. Really hard. I almost threw up. I almost passed out. There is always a point in a hot yoga class when I think to myself, "This is insane. Why am I doing this?" I always walk out of the studio with a smile on my face though. The good news is that I definitely sweated the loneliness right on out of my body. I feel better. Today's class was taught by my friend, Liz Workman. She's awesome. She always has some great/interesting theme or focus or story that strings throughout her classes. This time it was whirling dervishes and Rumi. She read this poem at the end of class:


This World Which Is Made of Our Love for Emptiness

Praise to the emptiness that blanks out existence. Existence:
This place made from our love for that emptiness!

Yet somehow comes emptiness,
this existence goes.

Praise to that happening, over and over!
For years I pulled my own existence out of emptiness.

Then one swoop, one swing of the arm,
that work is over.

Free of who I was, free of presence, free of dangerous fear, hope,
free of mountainous wanting.

The here-and-now mountain is a tiny piece of a piece of straw
blown off into emptiness.

These words I'm saying so much begin to lose meaning:
Existence, emptiness, mountain, straw:

Words and what they try to say swept
out the window, down the slant of the roof.

-Rumi

On a less serious note....Liz suggested that we drink coconut water after class. She explained that we had just sweat so much that we needed to drink something more than just plain water. I went to the Turnip Truck and got a coconut water. People rave about the stuff all the time. This was my second time trying it, and I had the same reaction. I just plain don't like the taste of it. I drank it anyway, but it was not easy. Is there anything else besides coconut water that has the same health benefits?

Thirth of July Funk

This is a photo I took the morning of my 27th birthday. I had just moved back to Nashville a few weeks before, and I was struggling to find a location and the funding to open The Green Wagon. I had returned to a familiar place, but I had changed, and the city just didn't seem to fit me the same way anymore. Several close friends had moved away while I was in Arizona, so I was surrounded by locations and people I knew, but hadn't yet established a strong friendship with anyone in the general vicinity of Davidson County. I remember feeling pretty lonely that morning and pretty unsure of what my future was going to look like....a lot like this morning. Hmmmm. If I could jump into the photo, sit down at that table, there are so many things I wish I could tell this version of myself.

Last night I just sat through the uncomfortable loneliness. I thought I might wake up and feel better, but it is still there. I think I'm going to head over to a hot yoga class at Kali Yuga. The class I took on Friday was a restorative yoga class, and I loved it. I'm not the biggest fan of hot yoga, but I feel like I need to do something, and that is the class they are offering this morning, so maybe that is the class I need today. I'm okay letting myself feel sad and in a funk for part of a day. I think it is an important part of healing, but I'm not about to let this last multiple days. I'm going to go sweat it out!