I ate dinner in the Bermuda Triangle...

I was returning the unused/unworn wardrobe from the music video tonight until about 8:30. I was in Green Hills, exhausted and not feeling like making dinner once I finally drove across town to my house. I had gotten a gift certificate for a restaurant (Firefly) in the Green Hills area about a year ago. I had been saving it for a special occasion, and had made plans with friends several times to try to use it over the past few months or so, but the plans always fell through. Tonight I spontaneously decided to take myself out on a date and use the certificate. Why the heck not, right?

I had never been to Firefly. It is a fairly small restaurant tucked back on a side street. I walked in and sat at the bar. Besides a waitress who was eating after her shift, I was the only one in the bar area. They were closing in 30 minutes, so I ordered quickly and planned on taking home what I couldn't finish in time. I was drinking a glass of wine and half-watching this ridiculous dancing show on TV when a couple came walking through the door. They first noticed the waitress, who had lived in the same building as the man and knew the woman independently from another job. They were amazed at the coincidence that they all knew each other, then I realized quickly that I knew the man from Vanderbilt's poetry program (and the poet I ran into in yoga class and mentioned in a blog post recently)! They were also looking to grab a quick bite. It was their first time in Firefly as well.

We were chatting and realized we are all independently friends with a local woman who makes candles. The couple asked me about The Green Wagon (they along with the waitress had all been in the store recently). The bartender was making some chocolate/orange after dinner drinks for a table and overheard "The Green Wagon," and asked if I knew Johnny and Tara, who now own and run the East Nashville Green Wagon. I did (obviously) & he knew them because they used to work at Firefly. (Johnny and Tara were the ones who gave me the gift certificate.) Is your brain hurting yet?

We were talking about how all of these connections were really interesting, considering how random it was that we were all there on the same night. As we were discussing this, the people who had been drinking the chocolate/orange drinks headed out the front door, and the woman (from the couple) realized she knew the woman walking out the door. The chocolate/orange drinkers came over to say hi to her and sat down. The chocolate/orange drink woman looked very familiar to me. I mentioned this to her & she agreed I looked familiar too. This happens to me a lot....I'll be out in public and recognize a face and not be able to place it. Mostly, it is because I've met so many people through being in the store for years, and usually that is where I've seen them before, so I assumed she had shopped at the store at some point and that was why she looked familar. She leaned over and said, "This may sound weird, but weren't we on a boat together recently?" I almost fell off my bar stool. Everyone was already overwhelmed with the way this web was forming & this final connection just too much to be thrown up towards coincidence. Chocolate/orange drink woman and I had spent an afternoon on a friend's houseboat on Percy Priest Lake about two months ago. I've posted a picture on this blog from that day, actually. We all gasped and laughed. I caught myself really enjoying a dinner I thought would be spent alone and rushed. I am continuously amazed at how interconnected we all are, but this was to an extreme.

I had been saving that gift certificate for a "special occasion" for almost a year and thought I was walking in on an average Wednesday night to use it for the sake of just using it. It is obvious to me now that I was supposed to be sitting there tonight, and that tonight was that special occasion I had been waiting for without realizing it. It was one of those moments when the universe confirms that you are exactly in the place you were meant to be at that exact moment, and that somehow, even though you're whole life has felt off track, you are getting some kind of unmistakable sign that you've found yourself back to the track and are going to be okay. Life is amazing.

My Wednesday Morning with Miss M

I've been exhausted lately. I was talking to a good friend this morning (she happens to be 4 year-old) and she asked me what I had been doing lately. I started rattling everything off and she said, "That's a lot of jobs, Miss Jennifer!" I realized that I am juggling five part-time jobs right now....and several side projects. No wonder I'm always so tired! They are all things I'm interested in, but I've been feeling worn out lately, and I haven't been keeping up with my yoga classes and hiking goals I set for myself at all for the past week or so. Mainly, yoga classes aren't offered during the little "free" time I do have. I've also been leaving the house really early and getting home really late for work....not ideal for hiking, but I realized this morning that there is also some choice in that. There is always choice in everything. I keep taking every single opportunity for work that comes my way, which is great, but what is it ultimately costing me in non-monetary ways?

I feel conflicted, because I know I need the money right now, but I also know that I need to change my overall perspective/patterns to make my health my number one priority. What I have done in the past hasn't worked, so why am I letting myself fall back into those old patterns again? The past few weeks, I've been letting work be more important than taking care of myself. Maybe it is easier for me to be busy as hell and use that as an excuse to not be good to myself. Why is that so hard?

Anyhow, I got home really late last night & had to get up at 6:45 this morning to get the animals all settled before heading off to hang with Miss M this morning. I was exhausted and feeling stressed out about all of the errands/tasks/jobs I was already trying to juggle in my head for the day....babysit, go to P.O. Box to pick up package, drop off dry cleaning for client, go work at the store, go to return unused wardrobe from the video shoot, etc, etc, etc. The past two days of work have been fun, but solid 12+ hour days in and out of the heat. I wanted to push past my exhaustion and think of something fun to do with Miss M this morning. Her dad had thrown out a couple of ideas before she woke up, but I wasn't sure what we would end up doing. I kept trying to think of something free, but all of the obvious options didn't make sense in the heat wave. Finally, I thought, "Oh well, let's go to the tea house and have a tea party." Miss M is *such* a lady. She is convinced she is a princess, wears sparkly shoes and ball gowns the majority of the time. I've known her since she was two & started coming in The Green Wagon. Miss M & her family quickly became some of my favorite customers & some of my dearest friends.

Ok, so there we are this morning, having dropped her older brother off at climbing camp. I'm driving the family mini van & I turn around to ask Miss M if she would like to go to the tea house and have a tea party. You would have thought I told her I was taking her to meet a room full of real life princesses. She flipped. We got there & the tea house didn't open for another 20 minutes, so we made clover crowns in the front yard of the tea house and waited. Once they opened, Miss M flew through the door and was the first to show me the teacup display, where you could pick out your own beautiful cup. Then she pulled me into her favorite room....there were lovely fancy hats hanging all along the walls and a few vintage suitcases overflowing with elegant gloves. Miss M picked out hats and gloves for the both of us. We both agreed on the Bohemian Raspberry Tea & Miss M insisted that I try the scones. She also insisted on speaking in a British accent the whole time we were there & made me pretend like I was the queen and she was the princess. Within 45 seconds of being there with her, I was wearing a ridiculous hat, long formal gloves and speaking in a British accent, referring to myself as a queen. How had this little pint-sized lady done this? How had she turned my whole day around and made me relaxed and happy and silly and royal?

It was simple. She had done this just by being completely present. I adored this morning. I ordered a second pot of tea in a silly formal accent from the very understanding waitress. I ordered more scones for Miss M. It was one of the most enjoyable mornings I've had in quite a while. I forgot about the bill or if it was going to be more than I would normally spend on myself (it ended up being surprisingly cheap, actually). In the moment, I didn't care. I was over-caffeinated and happy.

Then we went and held puppies and kittens at a local shelter for a while before going to pick up her big brother from camp. I am pretty sure scones weren't the healthiest breakfast option for my "get healthy by 30" quest, but this morning was an exception. I was a queen and Miss M and I were on top of the world. I am so grateful for my sweet friend.