Skip forward a few days to this past Friday....

Skip forward a few days to this past Friday? Jeesh, that sounds confusing. You know what I mean.

My friends Samantha and Mikey threw me the best birthday party a girl could ask for. I was a wee bit nervous about having a party to begin with, because I had this fear that no one would show up and then I'd feel like a loser. Turns out, people did show up....thank goodness. I got nervous again though once people started showing up, because I realized most of these people knew me, but didn't know each other. Five minutes later, I looked around and saw that it didn't matter....they were all having a great time and off having amazing conversations. It was pretty wonderful to be standing there in the middle of all of these amazing people I love and have them all in one place for a night. Lots of people exchanged contact info. There was a wacky photo booth and a fire pit (that I had no desire to jump over after plenty of fire jumping at the Warrior Dash of the previous weekend). A crowd of awesome kids helped me blow out my birthday candles. I would tell you my wish, but then it won't come true :) It was a lovely evening.

Woke up in the morning to people sleeping in their cars, cots set up out by the fire, people asleep on the couches and floor. Pancakes & mimosas for breakfast, then I was off to the farmer's market, lunch with Ayesha and home for a nap before the square dance shindig fundraiser at Sulphur Creek Farms. That's a whole other post though. Here are a few photo gems from the photo booth. I'll have a few more to post tomorrow from another friend's camera.

The birthday celebration continued....

I got a text Sunday morning from my best friend to meet her at an address in Louisville. I love a good adventure, and I love the chance to spend time with Rae even more. (She lives in California, which makes hanging out a little harder than it used to be when we were sixteen and lived about ten miles from each other. Luckily, her husband's best friend was getting married last weekend, so they flew to Indiana.) I packed an overnight bag and took off for Kentucky to meet her halfway. I got lost in downtown Louisville, but eventually made it to the address. It was a beautiful little bed and breakfast in an old victorian mansion. Rae showed me our room and then we sat out on the back porch and had a glass of white wine. I can't tell you how much my heart needed to land right there. I haven't seen Rae since Jonathan moved out. We talk on the phone, but it isn't the same. I think there was a part of me that had processed a ton and taken huge steps forward, and a part of me that had been holding my breath for six months to be able to just sigh and admit to her how hurt I really am.

We walked to dinner, and then came back to the room, put on big terry cloth robes, had another glass of wine, ate chocolate, talked more and watched a movie. I fell asleep around 11pm, slept like a log and and woke up about 11:30am. We both commented on how rested and refreshed we felt. I didn't realize how exhausted I was. The owners of the B&B were so sweet, and even though breakfast had been served hours earlier, they offered to reheat our breakfast for us....spiced pears with raspberries, some amazing quiche I can't even explain, and fresh apple cider (see photos). After we finished breakfast, we walked around town and kept talking until she had to head back to Indy.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a good cry after she drove away. I'm so grateful for that wonderful day, but I know it will be quite a while until I get to see my friend again. I wish going out for coffee was something we could do whenever we felt like it. I've been thinking lately that I might be ready to move within the next year. California maybe? Why not stop complaining about them being so far away & do something about closing that distance? I think I just might.

Rollin' around in that car that I bought you....

also not above a little Beyonce therapy while cleaning the house tonight either. To the left to the left....

I can be the better person...

...but I'm not above a little karma reminder from Justin Timberlake every now and then. Oh oh, yes please....

Oh, Happiness, you slippery thing!

"One time a disciple complained to his teacher that all the time spent on spiritual work hadn't made him happy.

"Your job right now isn't to be happy," the teacher swiftly replied. "Your job is to become real." Essence is real, and when you capture it, happiness follows because all the qualities of essence follow. Trying to be happy as an end in itself is limited; you will be fortunate just to meet your ego's requirements for a happy life. If instead you devote yourself to a total shift in awareness, happiness arrives as a gift freely bestowed by consciousness."

-from Deepak Chopra's "The Book of Secrets"

Actual Birthday Recap

I woke up at 6:30am and continued cleaning. I've always despised cleaning....well, the getting started part, I guess. I think cleaning is like going to the gym. I never want to do it, but once I'm there, it isn't so bad & I always feel good when I'm finished. I was reading a few weeks ago that cleaning the house is just another form of prayer or meditation. That shifted something in me...in the way I am thinking about cleaning. A part of me was annoyed that I couldn't sleep in, but mostly I felt like spending all morning "mediating" was probably a great way to start my birthday. Goal for 30...meditate with my new steam cleaner more.

Then my mom arrived and we went to Burger Up for lunch. We split a delicious salad and a quinoa burger with truffle oil fries. Mmm. I meant to take a photo before, but got too distracted by the deliciousness. This (above) is all you get...the last lone bites of my birthday salad. I also caught myself eating too fast again. I'm working on that. It is a lifelong habit, learned from my dad, who developed the habit when he was a medical resident and would have five minutes to eat a sandwich out of a vending machine for dinner. Most of the time I don't remember that I need to chew slower until my food is almost all the way gone. Anyhow, goal for 30...chew more.

Then we wandered over to Sulphur Creek Farm (where I go to those weekly potlucks) to meet my insanely talented friend, Mark Tucker. I first saw Mark's photographs hanging in my friend Diana's house. I've admired/drooled over his work ever since. I got to spend the afternoon jumping around in creeks, swinging on big swings, climbing into ponds and running down gravel roads.

After the photo shoot, I quickly changed in the barn and off we went to the Grand Ole Opry House to see Ray Lamontagne. Our seats were incredible (thanks to my lovely friend, Dara). Brandi Carlile opened for Ray. I had never seen her live, but had always liked her songs on the radio well enough to sing along. She blew me away. She was such an amazing performer/entertainer. I cried during her second song (below) of the show, and turned to my mom and said, "Gosh. I think we're going to need more beer for this concert." Ha. As her encore, she played one of my favorite favorite songs ever (I have two favorite songs)....Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen. I guess a lot of people like that song, which makes me feel fairly unoriginal, but I don't care. It breaks my heart every single time...the lyrics. Ugh. Love it.

Then Ray played my other favorite song. More tears. Both favorite songs in the same night? What an unexpected birthday treat!

I can't think of a single thing I would have changed about the day. It was amazingly perfect. Special thanks to my mom for being here to share it with me.

My horoscope for 9.22.11

"Whatever happened to those "sugarplums that were supposed to dance in your head"? Could it be that whoever wrote that knew if you ever stopped chasing your dreams, you'll be lost? Let this be your wake up call to get back to that focus. That is what life is all about, isn't it?"