Reason #4931 why I don't enjoy going to the mall....

Just walked inside from herding the chickens into their new coop location (again). Something has been stealing chickens at night, so my friend Mikey helped me turn what used to be the goat shed into a new chicken coop that is more secure. Chickens are afraid of the dark and normally go into their coop as the sun starts setting. They haven't all caught onto the new coop location though, so I go out and shake them out of trees, run around in the yard after them, try to sneak up on them while they are deciding that the grill would be a good place to roost. (It is true. Chickens aren't very smart). As if looking like an idiot, chasing 10 chickens around in the yard for an hour wasn't humbling enough, get ready for the ridiculous story of the day....

I have been very lucky to be working with my dear friend and uber-talented fashion stylist, Samantha. She's in LA right now, so we're coordinating by phone and gathering things needed for a music video shoot on Monday. Off I went this morning to find a three piece suit. The men's suit section of Macy's is not my comfort zone, so I asked for help from a nice old man who was standing behind the counter. He helped me gather the sizes I needed. As he was ringing everything up, I was text messaging Samantha what I had found. The man kept going on and on. I wasn't really paying attention. I just nodded every time he paused. At one point I heard him say something about being a Christian, and that the world needs more of them. This is not that weird of a thing to hear when you live in the Bible belt. I just hummed an agreeable sounding, "Mmm" & kept texting.

Then I heard him say, "Looks like you're working on another one there yourself." I wasn't sure what he meant, and again nodded along, trying to tune him out. I thought maybe he was referring to the music video, since I had mentioned I was shopping for one? Maybe he assumed it was a Christian music video? Then he said, "When is that one due?" He had already asked and I had already explained that the music video wouldn't be out for several months. I was getting a little frustrated. He knew I was work texting about the purchase he was still slowly ringing up. Then he asked again. I looked up from my iPhone, and realized he was looking at my stomach.

I didn't know what to do or how to answer. I thought about saying, "No, I'm apparently just fat," but I didn't want to hurt his feelings by telling him he had just asked the one question you NEVER ask a woman unless you can see a baby's head on the way out. I thought about making up a due date, but couldn't do the math in my head for what might make sense. I panicked, just looked back down at my phone and mumbled, "Oh, not for quite a while." He seemed satisfied with that answer and went on telling me that he had six kids, so that's how he could tell, which made me go from feeling like I wanted to crawl under a rack of discount blazers and die to feeling like I wanted to fall over laughing. Men.

I walked back to the car with my garment bags, and couldn't figure out if I was about to cry or about to laugh. Both felt very close to happening, but I did neither. I just sat in my car and thought, "SHIT. Why did that have to happen right now? Really, right now?" I really want to laugh about it, but I'm not quite ready yet. There is still a little part of me that feels defeated and embarrassed. It definitely was something I wish hadn't happened, but I can have a sense of humor about it. I also can really stay motivated about my eating healthier/exercising more plan.

On a more uplifting note, I stopped by the East Nashville Farmer's Market after working at the shop tonight & got a 5 min free massage from my friend Wesley. He's such a good massage therapist that at the end of 5 minutes, you feel like you've just had a 90 minute massage. I've been hoping to catch him there for several weeks, because my shoulders and upper back have been all knotted up. Afterwards, I almost couldn't talk, I was so relaxed. I had to sit down for a while before I could even drive home. I am extra grateful for those 5 minutes of my day.

After deciding yesterday to focus on the things I have, here is a list of the first three that come to mind tonight:

1. I have a home where I feel safe.

2. I have a car that gets me where I need to go & runs on free fuel.

3. I have some sweet animal friends who are always happy. Here is a photo of one of them. This is Gus. He is a 7 year-old mystery mix. This photo was taken five years ago on the 4th of July.