Learning to trust the transition....

In yoga class yesterday, the instructor kept reminding us to honor the transitions or rests between poses as poses themselves. She asked us to give them just as much attention and focus as we gave to the pose we just came out of, and the pose we were about to go into next. I almost army crawled off of my mat to go find a pencil and some paper to write that down. It is hard to stay patient in the middle of transition. It is really challenging to stay present, and not think about the past or be too anxious for whatever might come next. I'm constantly trying to honor this process and stay present through it, but there are definitely times when I wish I could just hurry up and get to the next phase of my life.

For me, when I'm mid-transition, it feels like the transition will neeeeeever end. But I know it does...and the strange thing about transitions is that they usually end silently, completely unnoticed. They sneak out the back door without a word, and then one day you're doing something totally mundane, like sitting in a cafe, eating lunch in the sunshine and you realize you're so completely content in that moment. Then it hits you out of nowhere, "YES! I'm in a moment right now that is so perfect, and I would have never been sitting here in this perfect moment if it hadn't been for all of that change. Ok. I get it. That is over. I made it to this. I'm grateful for both." Then, a big sigh of relief. I can remember specific moments when this happened for me. One was at a cafe in Prague. Another was while I was floating in the Sea of Cortez at night, looking up at the stars. There have definitely been others, but those were the two most powerful for me so far.

I had completely forgotten about this song until I stumbled across another song of Gabe's that a friend had posted on Facebook tonight. I used to listen to it every single morning during a six month stretch of my life when everything was in extreme transition. I was scared. I had already decided to move to Tucson to get my MFA in Poetry. I was quitting a job I loved. My relationship at the time (which I had been in off and on for about four years) was ending. My landlord was selling the house I lived in several months before I was supposed to move, so I was actually temporarily moving into the guest room at my ex-boyfriend's house....for the first time we were living together, except we weren't together. Ack!

Nothing was happening the way I had imagined or planned. It was all out of order and awkward and uncomfortable. I felt out of place. I had no clue what my life was going to be like. I was worried I was making a huge mistake by leaving. I was trying to trust that I somehow knew what I was doing, and that I would reach a point where the transition was over. This song helped reinforce that feeling each day. I got to Tucson. I kept listening to this song for several more months. I would listen to music and walk for hours every morning and every evening. I always ended the walk with this song. Eventually, I got to the end of that transition. Life made more sense than it ever had before. I was happy. I will arrive at the end of this transition someday too. Tonight, I am grateful for the lesson in this song....again.

"All will be well,

Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself.

All will be well.

You can ask me how,

but only time will tell."

-Gabe Dixon

Check out some more about my talented friend, Gabe Dixon, on his website here.