You are where you need to be....

I worked 14 hours on Saturday. When I got off work at 12:30am, I mustered up whatever energy I had left to try to make it to the end of a party my friends were throwing. On my way there, I got a giant nail in my front right tire, and ended up with a flat on the side of Briley Parkway. I called AAA, and discovered I didn't have anymore service calls left. I know how to change a tire. My dad made me learn how to drive a stick shift & how to change a tire when I was 16. I would have done just that if it had been daylight, and I wasn't on the tiny shoulder of a highway with semi trucks zipping along about 12 inches from my car.

So, I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to "share" a decent chunk of the little bit of money I had just made with a service that would come out and help me. Oh, and my phone battery was about to die as I made the call. The whole time I just focused on trying to stay present. It was a beautiful night, perfect temperature, gorgeous stars. Yes, I was wearing my work clothes, which smelled like beer and BBQ, and my feet hurt like hell, but I was going to figure out a way to at least tolerate this first part of my Sunday morning without letting too much stress creep in and take over. I stayed calm. Staying calm under pressure is a state of mind I used to be able to stay in easier. Over the last few years, I somehow forgot how to handle stress. It felt good to realize I was able to do that again...it felt like just as much of a progress marker as the moment when I realized I could fit into those jeans I had given up on.

Finally, after waiting over an hour, the tow truck pulled up. As the man began loosening the lug nuts, he started making small talk. We ended up having an interesting conversation while I held the flashlight for him, and as he was inflating the spare tire that he had just put on, he looked at me and asked if he could be nosy. I said sure, and he asked, "So, I'm almost forty, and I've never been married before. What do you think it takes to make a marriage work?" I didn't even hesitate. Before I could think of why, the word "honesty" had jumped out of my mouth.

I explained that I clearly was not an expert on marriage, seeing as how I was on my way out of one. I told him I thought there are obviously many things that are important to a healthy marriage, but without being able to be honest with each other...and most importantly with yourself, communication breaks down. When there isn't clear and honest communication, there can't be clear understanding, and that is when someone usually gets hurt.

He nodded and turned off the air compressor. We shook hands and parted ways. As I drove off, I realized that I wasn't upset at all anymore about the inconvenience of my flat tire....I was actually grateful for that man who changed my tire and asked important questions. My mom always says, "You are where you need to be." That was exactly true in that moment, and I found myself almost happy to share part of the money I had just made with that man. Then I made it to the party....at 1:45am. Luckily, my friends are rock stars, and they were still awake and excited to see me arrive in one piece. (By rock stars, I mean a great group of natural and native dye experts, biodynamic farmers, community advocates, environmentalists and bluegrass musicians.)