Mas Tacos y No Mas Codependency

Sold my scooter yesterday to a really nice guy who really needs it in the ways I really needed it when I bought it. I hadn't been on it in over a month, I think. I had forgotten how much fun that thing is to drive. We're going to meet this afternoon to exchange money and the scooter, so I got to ride it around all day yesterday. I rode downtown to my P.O. Box to pick up a book my mom mailed me, and then went to Mas Tacos for lunch. Teresa is one of my favorite small business owners in Nashville. I love love her taco truck, but I really love going to her brick & mortar spot, because it feels like a little slice of Tucson to me.

I ordered two quinoa tacos (they have red cabbage on them & are so dang tasty...and much healthier than regular tacos), and sat down to start reading. The book is called Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. Yes, I was riding around on my scooter, eating tacos and reading a self help book. Oy....maybe this is my mid-life crisis arriving a bit early? My mom heard about this book from her hairdresser. She told my mom that this book had changed her life, and I had to read it. I really like the epigraph for the book, so that was a good start....

"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."

-Agnes Repplier

I knew I probably needed to be reading this book when, only three pages into the introduction, I wanted to throw the thing across the taco shack and never pick it up again. It is written by a woman who is a recovering alcoholic, and she initially has some very harsh things to say about the partners/codependents. I thought, "What the hell does this lady know? This book is crap!" I made myself keep reading. Then she explains that after being sober for a long time, she somehow ended up in the codependent role and realized how unfair her previous judgements were. I finished reading the introduction and scootered myself over to a yoga class. I can already tell there are going to be parts of this book that really challenge me to acknowledge some things about myself that I don't like, but I'm okay with that. I'm open to that, because I am ready to heal and change and move forward with my life. I don't want to recreate a situation over again in the future, simply because it was too painful or I was afraid to look at the previous one and really understand it.